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Esther Perel warns: AI and remote work are eroding workplace relationships

Esther Perel warns: AI and remote work are eroding workplace relationships

3 Key Points

  1. What happened

    Psychotherapist Esther Perel told Fortune that workplaces are suffering from social atrophy—the slow erosion of everyday human contact—driven by hybrid work, remote collaboration, and AI adoption. Europe has the lowest employee engagement globally at 12%, compared with the global average of 20%, which is at its lowest point since 2020.

  2. Why it matters

    Three in 10 employees report less patience for small talk, difficulty reading colleagues' emotions, higher anxiety over phone calls, or reduced conflict-resolution skills since AI was introduced in their workplace, according to Workday's Human Connection Workplace Index. Perel warns that automation is removing routine entry-level tasks that historically helped junior workers build skills and workplace relationships—and companies are using AI as justification for large-scale layoffs, potentially creating a talent pipeline gap.

  3. What to watch

    Perel urges leaders to rebuild human connection by asking basic questions like 'How are you doing?' rather than skipping to agendas, and to stop describing their teams as families—a framing that sets people up for disappointment when companies face challenges. She argues that cultural change, not better tools or shorter meetings, is the real solution.

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Context & Analysis

Perel's argument rests on several interconnected observations about the modern workplace. Europe's employee engagement at 12%—nearly half the global average of 20%—signals a systemic problem that extends beyond cyclical economic swings. The psychotherapist connects this disengagement to three overlapping trends: the structural changes imposed by hybrid and remote work, the psychological erosion of small social interactions, and the accelerating adoption of AI as a replacement for human-to-human contact.

The mechanism Perel identifies is subtle but cumulative. Hybrid work removes the informal moments—hallway conversations, unplanned encounters, the ambient awareness of colleagues' lives—that once scaffolded professional relationships. Polished Zoom calls with blurred backgrounds eliminate the accidental intimacy of early video work. AI chatbots and task automation compress further the space where junior employees learn skills and build networks. Layoffs justified by AI adoption remove the very entry-level roles that historically served as on-ramps to professions. Each individually small, these trends compound into what Perel calls a crisis of human capacity—people are losing the "muscle" to handle awkward small talk, spontaneous connection, and the messiness of working alongside imperfect humans.

Her prescription addresses the root cause, not the symptoms. Rather than more tools, more efficiency, or shorter meetings, Perel insists that leaders must consciously restore the conditions for human contact—asking genuine questions, containing workplace anxiety without false reassurance, and abandoning the "family" framing that masks the transactional nature of employment. This is a call for cultural intentionality in an era of frictionless design.

FAQ
What does Perel mean by social atrophy in the workplace?
Perel describes it as the slow, invisible erosion of everyday human contact that used to hold organizations together. It results from reduced physical proximity in hybrid and remote work, blurred video call backgrounds that create less intimacy than unintentional home visibility did early on, and the elimination of small, inconsequential conversations that build rapport before difficult discussions arise.
How is AI specifically affecting workplace relationships, according to Perel?
Perel argues that AI absorbs time that used to be spent with colleagues—asking a chatbot a question instead of a colleague removes not just that one interaction, but all the important conversations that follow. Workday's Human Connection Workplace Index found that three in 10 employees report less patience for small talk, more difficulty reading colleagues' emotional tone, higher anxiety over spontaneous phone calls, or decline in their ability to resolve conflict without digital mediation since AI was introduced.
What is Perel's main recommendation for leaders?
Perel calls on leaders to create space for human connection by asking basic questions such as 'How are you doing?' or 'What's happening in people's lives right now?' She also urges them to stop calling their teams families—a framing that sets people up for disappointment when companies face challenges—and to recognize that cultural change, not better tools, is the real solution.

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